Advice from a Long-time Piano Parent About Practice
Piano teaching would be a breeze (at least a bit easier) if we had complete control over practice at home.
But we don’t.
Usually, that job falls to the parents.
We must support parents in every way we can, but sometimes, piano lessons lose out because of home practice issues.
Parents get weary of the battlefront and want to give up.
At the same time, they know that making music at the keys is an important, lifetime skill.
They're torn.
This second part of this post is written by a long-time piano parent named Vicki who walked alongside her two children for over a decade. Her son Parker, a senior in high school, is in the photo above.
Vicki shares the story of her family’s decision that piano mattered, how she managed practice, and how she eventually let go of her control of it.
I’m so grateful to Vicki and pleased to have this post to share with parents who are on the fence about continuing lessons.
Parents’ Concerns about Practice
When it’s time to commit to another year of piano, I receive emails from some parents wondering if it’s worth continuing lessons because of what happens at home…
The lesson vs practice Dilemma
“We have had a lot of trouble with getting him to practice at home the past few months. He always seems to have fun and enjoy your lessons. But when it comes to home, and we remind him it's practice time, he sometimes heavily complains and says he wants to quit. What's your opinion, does he seem to be engaged, willingly, and enjoy time at your lessons? Does he seem to be progressing with his skills as expected for his age?
The woes of managing Practice
“I do actually think he likes playing, but he seems to be a bit of a perfectionist and has a hard time recovering from mistakes. I think this makes him not like to sit down and practice. We have tried the 10-minute timer, but he has a hard time stopping because he has not done all the assignments, or hasn't played the song he is on at that time perfectly yet.
The struggle to commit long-term
“I am the adult that wished I stuck with piano as a kid, but quit because my dad micro-managed my practice schedule too much. I have struggled to find balance with this for him, and just don't want it to be torture for him.”
“To be honest my mind is not made up about lessons.”
“I am open to having more conversation about it before any decisions are finalized. This is certainly not a decision that we are taking lightly.”
“We'd love to see him continue and not just give up on all he's learned the past years. I know ultimately piano is something that he needs to want to do if he's going to continue for years to come.”
Their words got me thinking…If a child shows up for some but not all soccer practices, never practices skills at home, rarely scores a goal, but enjoys the games, is it a reason to quit the team?
In my replies to these concerned parents, I mentioned that many students do not practice as I’d prefer, yet they keep coming and still make progress.
One parent attended my recent recital and was impressed by Parker’s performance. Parker is a senior in high school who has been taking lessons since he was three years old. He has substantial musicianship skills (including perfect pitch) but admits he could practice more. We agreed that he suffered from “approach avoidance”—if things got hard, he’d back away from the challenge.
This made me think that Parker’s mom could be the ideal parent to offer advice to rookie piano parents. She didn’t let Parker stop lessons even when he didn’t practice as much as she would have liked.
The struggle is real, and she has invaluable experience (and victories!) in the home practice battleground.
Read her thoughts below.
Advice from Vicki
My kids, Parker and Nicole, have been students of Leila’s since they were 10 and 12. They started formal instruction when they were 3 and 5. I play the piano, and I definitely wanted my children to learn music from the time they were born.
I feel that formal music training has fallen by the wayside these days, which is a tragedy. Music is therapeutic and a form of self-expression that children don’t appreciate until they are older. My kids both love music and wanted to learn to play the piano from a very early age, but learning music can be difficult at times, as they found out.
The greatest challenge through their music journeys was finding practice routines that they were happy with while still progressing in their lessons. I tried many ways to manage their practice, which evolved as they grew older.
When they were young, we decided that practicing soon after they got home was a good brain break from the school mindset. While one was at the bench, the other would do their theory work. Each learned music differently, so figuring out what worked well for each was important.
If you force a student into a specific practice method, a student who just doesn’t learn that way will get bored or frustrated and be more likely to give up. Let them figure out what works for them to make the most progress.
Some more traditional instructors dictate that students should spend X minutes/hours practicing every day. This strategy can be good, but it depends on the student’s style. Parker can listen to a piece and figure it out by ear, better than looking at the music and picking out the notes. Nicole was the opposite. She preferred to work out the notes visually from the sheet music. That took longer, so we had to allocate more bench time for her.
As a parent, it was very important for me to know what they were currently learning and understand the expectations. Then, when I heard them practicing, I knew if I should give them a little reminder or encouragement of how to reach whatever goals they and Ms. Leila had set.
When learning a new piece, we set goals for how many measures or lines of music they could learn, not how much time they would spend sitting in front of the keyboard. How long it took to learn those chunks of music would vary. They made good progress if they could focus on one or two measures or lines and learn them. If they sat there and learned it incorrectly for half an hour to meet their practice time requirement, that was a waste of time, and it was frustrating for them and me. Then, they had to unlearn what they did and start over, which was often harder.
After a piece had been more or less learned correctly, regarding notes and general technique, they preferred “drive-by practice.” Leila is a great proponent of this, and it worked well for my busy teenagers. They didn’t take a large block of time to sit and practice.
They would use the smaller chunks of time between homework assignments or right before dinner or bed and work on fine-tuning the pieces they had learned. Sometimes, they would play the pieces once or twice, working on a specific element, such as timing or dynamics.
Leila has been wonderful at adapting her lessons to each student’s learning and practice style. She can tell what works and what doesn’t and is very patient when the goals that have been set aren’t always met. She has different ideas that might spark a student’s motivation to practice in their own way, leading to progress. My kids thrived musically under Leila’s instruction, and both are grateful that they stuck with it. They will be able to enjoy playing the piano for the rest of their lives, which was their main goal all along.
They may not be professional musicians, but they now have a beautiful skill to share and love forever.
-Vicki—Nicole, and Parker’s Mom
Parker in 2016
Parker in 2024
Thank you, Vicki, for walking alongside your pianists even when times were tough.
Your timeless advice is priceless. It will help piano parents commit to staying the course, sticking with lessons, and giving their children a beautiful lifelong skill.
